No matter what you do, move forward.
There is nothing about dwelling on the past that will help you as you move forward. That time period is over. That book has been written. You can’t rewrite it. Like a tweet that’s been sent out into cyberspace, it’s still there — in some form — no matter what.
You are not your past. You are not your past actions. Your past actions and those in your life whose actions have affected you have only brought you to the point you are at now, in THIS instance. But you must reframe. Write your future. You have the control now.
Learning this and gaining the momentum of having this control can take years of pain and self discovery. I speak anecdotally.
“Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be.”
— Great quote by a legendary basketball coach (John Wooden) that applies to life.
Move forward. Just do it. I don’t care if you are scared. Do it, anyway. Never live fear-based, for the sake of your livelihood.