“I wish my life was like the way it used to be.”
I wake up every morning and have this unrealistic, underwhelming thought. It’s damaging and painful to think about and believe. I still think it and believe it, though, comparing the current times of my life to the past (2008 and 2009, specifically).
You know how a lot of psychology experts explore positive and negative thinking, and how you can be impacted by the exact way that you think? They are right.
It’s a crippling thought to vie for the past. It’s a waste of time to remember a past time if you are dwelling on it like I do. Memories can be fun to think back on for a brief moment… or they can be mentally and emotionally crippling when you overcompensate your personal time by thinking about them. Mentally because you exert too much of your mind’s energy on remembering, and emotionally because you believe that your level of happiness from years’ past is unattainable.
Don’t be like me, folks. Right now, I don’t have my shit together. I really want to sit here and believe that I can change everything in 2012, and get rid of all the bullshit negativity that plagues my thoughts, but I don’t know what’s going to happen there.
I’m confident in myself that I can walk into a room and talk to every person in there and have a >80% shot of dazzling them. Confidence in myself when it comes to social situations is evident. I have no problem with that. My plight is that I’m not exactly happy with my life right now.
The adage goes like, “You can choose whether to be happy or not,” and I agree with it, but where do you start? You must make positive changes in your life and work hard to render happiness, correct?
It may seem that I say “Well, I was happiest during the long term relationship I was in!” but there’s a falsification in that. Yeah, during the relationship I had from her, I was happy in 2008 and 2009, but 2010 and 2011 was hell, so it’s not all about our relationship although it was virtually perfect in the first two years.
But the first two years (again, 2008 and 2009) were amazing years overall. I met a lot of people, traveled all over the place, accomplished a lot of things, and I truly grew into myself as a person.
I’m going to make an effort to kick this negativity’s ass. The whole “I wish my life was like the way it used to be” thought I have every morning is more crippling than I can describe. To everybody out there reading, please don’t
spend waste your time thinking things like that. I don’t give a shit about how awesome times in your past was, it’s your own personal responsibility to look at the future as an opportunity to strive to be even happier than ever before, and to maintain that happiness by enduring adversity and doing your best to be consistently positive in the world that isn’t always so.
I know I’m a hypocrite for now, but I intend to take the advice that I laid out above. I’m young, and I won’t be this damn dazzling and handsome forever (just joking… sort of). I’m going to fall, and I expect it. I know I’m going to think about 2008/2009 and remember all of the ‘perfect’ moments from that year in my life, and it’s going to sting, but moving forward is the only option, damn it.
One caveat: if a time machine ever comes to fruition: I’m taking that bitch back to 2008-2009, baby!