On Relationships

Back in 2007, I was a self-dependent guy. I dated girls over the years before then, but they were bland relationships. If I set my sights on a goal, I did it. I would always strive to accomplish whatever the hell I’d set in front of me.

I wanted to lose weight? I’d do it. I wanted to pack on a few pounds of muscle? I’d take the necessary steps and spend the necessary time doing it. I wanted to write a blog post about how the San Francisco 49ers dominated the NFL in the ’80s? I’d do it. I wanted to go out and meet a plethora of new people? I’d do it.

Then I met an incredible girl, and yaddee-yaddee-yah, I’ll save you the usual story that you can hear anywhere.

I was with the said incredible girl for close to four years. I learned a lot from that relationship, but the memories sting, especially considering that it hasn’t been very long at all since we ended things.

Why did our relationship end? The circumstances aren’t right for us. I graduated from high school in 2009 and went off to college back then. Things were still great given the amount of time we were able to be with one another, but then she went off to a different college. We realized, very reluctantly, that we can’t make things work right now.

So, maybe again in the future. Just maybe. “Never” should ‘never’ be said (oh, wait). If we get together again in the future, and the situation is right, who knows what could happen? But right now, we’ve mutually decided to go about our own ways and contact each other every now and again (disaster?).

The one thing that kept me from falling flat on my face when our relationship ended was the fact that I have a lot of hobbies. When our relationship ended, I went straight into doing things that I love to do. I’ve always been the kind of guy that needs his alone time to sit back, chill and ponder. Except when the relationship ended, to sit back, chill and ponder wasn’t the best thing to do, so I decided, “Hey, fuck it, I’m going to drown my entire schedule with activities that will fill up my time” and I did.

What a lot of guys today have lost touch in is with their inner self, their individuality. How in the hell can you enter a relationship with a female without being happy and secure with your life? You can’t make somebody else truly happy without being happy with yourself.

Too many men out there get into this brutal, handicapping mindset that one relationship is the be all, end all of things. I was that way in the past, but it’s a learning experience, and you must learn that relationships aren’t everything.

Look in a mirror and ask yourself what do you want in your life? What is it that you want, that you can personally achieve, individually? Establish your dreams.

  1. I can agree and have a similar, but not so similar story. I was with a girl for three years and decided to break things off due to arguments and distance. We both were separated by miles in college. The breakup ended so badly, I forced myself to stay away from women. Like you say, it was the best thing for me.

    I learned a lot about what makes me happy and I grew on my own. When I started dating again, I was aware of the type of lady I wanted. After dating a few girls here and there, I knew when I’d met my wife. She encourages my individualism and my dreams.

    What you’re saying makes a lot of sense. You have to know yourself before getting to know someone else. Great post.

  2. t.on.air said:

    Dude, I know what you mean. Thanks for stopping by!

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